President Trump’s Lecture to the UN
Many People Are Saying This Was the Greatest UNGA Lecture in History
What Follows is a transcript of the UNGA Lecture given by our Dear Leader Donald J. Trump on 9/19/2017
Microphones do a disservice to our Dear Leaders voice, so we at Glorious Democracy News (FOX News) will do our best to repair any distortions caused by trying to capture the glory of our leader electronically (Meaning will be cleared up and noted with italics).
Mr. Secretary General, Mr. President, world leaders, and distinguished delegates, welcome to New York. It is a profound honor to stand here in my home city as a representative of the American people to address the people of the world. As millions of our citizens continue to suffer the effects of the devastating hurricanes that have struck our country, I want to begin by expressing my appreciation to every leader in this room who has offered assistance and aid. The American people are strong and resilient, and they will emerge from these hardships more determined than ever before.
Fortunately, the United States has done very well since Election Day last November 8. The stock market is at an all-time high, a record. Unemployment is at its lowest level in 16 years, and because of our regulatory and other reforms, we have more people working in the United States today than ever before. Companies are moving back, creating job growth, the likes of which our country has not seen in a very long time (It should be noted here that the hundreds of millions of people openly weeping with joy across the entire country were not shown by the dishonest and corrupt media at this time).
And it has just been announced that we will be spending almost $700 billion on our military and defense. Our military will soon be the strongest it has ever been. For more than 70 years, in times of war and peace, the leaders of nations, movements, and religions have stood before this assembly. Even more important, we will pay for this increase in military spending by ripping health insurance from the poor and infirm and by defunding the poorly-rated and weak State Department, I call that a Win-Win. After all, a nation is only as strong as it’s weakest defense contractor.
Like them, I intend to address some of the very serious threats before us today, but also the enormous potential waiting to be unleashed. We live in a time of extraordinary opportunity. Breakthroughs in science, technology, and medicine are curing illnesses and solving problems that prior generations thought impossible to solve. But don’t you worry, whenever these scientists, technologists, or medical experts try to apply their crafts in ways that are a danger to corporate profits we will be there to stop them.
Each day also brings news of growing dangers that threaten everything we cherish and value. Terrorists and extremists have gathered strength and spread to every region of the planet. Rogue regimes represented in this body not only support terror but threaten other nations and their own people with the most destructive weapons known to humanity. You may wonder how this could be possible after twenty-five years of the War on Terror but don’t you worry, the fault was clearly less enlightened leadership and no reason to stop applying the same solutions to a growing problem. Now that your Dear Leader has been elected, one thousand flowers will bloom in the remains of every ‘radical Islamic’ heart.
Authority and authoritarian powers seek to collapse the values, the systems, and alliances, that prevented conflict and tilted the word toward freedom since World War II. International criminal networks traffic drugs, weapons, people, force dislocation and mass migration, threaten our borders and new forms of aggression exploit technology to menace our citizens. To put it simply, we meet at a time of both immense promise and great peril. It is entirely up to us whether we lift the world to new heights, or let it fall into a valley of disrepair. We have it in our power, should we so choose, to lift millions from poverty, to help our citizens realize their dreams, and to ensure that new generations of children are raised free from violence, hatred, and fear. Unless, of course, those poor children rely on public assistance, public education, Medicaid, or have parents who are drug addicted or reside in the world’s jails or prisons.
We will jump forward a bit as a few of the words of the Leader were too beautiful for human ears to hear. Do not be disturbed if it seems like we skip forward in the future, it will be like a beautiful dream.
Strong sovereign nations let their people take ownership of the future and control their own destiny. And strong sovereign nations allow individuals to flourish in the fullness of the life intended by god. In America, we do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather, to let it shine as an example for everyone to watch. Unless of course we disagree with you, as you will now see, anyone we disagree with should have the beautiful new Democratic way of life imposed upon them by sanctions or at the end of a gunship.
In America, the people govern, the people rule, and the people are sovereign. I was elected not to take power, but to give power to the American people where it belongs. Unless those people are not ‘True Americans,” laugh at my Attorney General, work for ESPN, or are members of the so-called press.
In foreign affairs, we are renewing this founding principle of sovereignty. Our government’s first duty is to its people, to our citizens, to serve their needs, to ensure their safety, to preserve their rights, and to defend their values. Well, not all of their values, the good bigly values, whichever values I am for at any particular time. And not all of their needs, especially not the needs of lazy poor, the so-called LGBTQ people, and the low-rated immigrants.
As president of the united States, I will always put America first. Just like you, as the leaders of your countries, will always and should always put your countries first. Well, obviously, unless the needs of your citizens interfere with the success of Trump. And by the way, have you seen that place across the street? Pretty amazing from what many people have been telling me.
If we desire to lift up our citizens, if we aspire to the approval of history, then we must fulfill our sovereign duties to the people we faithfully represent. We must protect our nations, their interests and their futures. We must reject threats to sovereignty from the Ukraine to the south China sea. We must uphold respect for law, respect for borders, and respect for culture, and the peaceful engagement these allow. Did you hear that President Xi? It is too bad you are being made a fool of by Rocket Man.
If this is not twisted enough, now North Korea’s reckless pursuit of nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles threatens the entire world with unthinkable loss of human life. It is an outrage that some nations would not only trade with such a regime, but would arm, supply and financially support a country that imperils the world with nuclear conflict. No nation on Earth has an interest in seeing this band of criminals arm itself with nuclear weapons and missiles. The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea. Rocket man is on a suicide mission for himself and for his regime. The United States is ready, willing and able, but hopefully this will not be necessary. That’s what the United Nations is all about. That’s what the United Nations is for. Let’s see how they do. So, China, Take that. See, who needs a State Department, the world is with us.
It is time for North Korea to realize that the denuclearization is its only acceptable future. The united nations security council recently held two unanimous 15–0 votes adopting hard-hitting resolutions against North Korea, and I want to thank China and Russia for joining the vote to impose sanctions, along with all of the other members of the security council. Thank you to all involved. But we must do much more. When I said the United States doesn’t want to impose it’s will on countries, I didn’t mean Rocket Man’s country, just look at his bad hair.
It is time for all nations to work together to isolate the Kim regime until it ceases its hostile behavior. We face this decision not only in North Korea, it is far past time for the nations of the world to confront another reckless regime, one that speaks openly of mass murder, vowing death to America, destruction to Israel, and ruin for many leaders and nations in this room.
The Iranian government masks a corrupt dictatorship behind the false guise of a democracy. It has turned a wealthy country, with a rich history and culture, into an economically depleted rogue state whose chief exports are violent, bloodshed and chaos. The longest suffering victims of Iran’s leaders are, in fact, its own people. Rather than use its resources to improve Iranian live, its oil profits go to fund Hezbollah and other terrorists that kill innocent Muslims and attack their peaceful Arab and Israeli neighbors.
This wealth, which rightly belongs to Iran’s people, also goes to shore up Bashar Al Assad’s dictatorship, fuel Yemen’s civil war, and undermine peace throughout the entire Middle East. We cannot let a murderous regime continue these destabilizing activities while building dangerous missiles and we cannot abide by an agreement if it provides cover for the eventual construction of a nuclear program. The Iran deal was one of the worst and most one-sided transactions the United States has ever entered into. Frankly, that deal is an embarrassment to the United States, and I don’t think you’ve heard the last of it. Believe me. You might ask why I haven’t unilaterally ended the deal, since I am the Dear Leader. Well, I haven’t ended it because I don’t really know what it says and Chief Inspector…General Mattis has told me we should keep it.
Oppressive regimes cannot endure forever (the Dear Leader intended no irony here), and the day will come when the people will face a choice. Will they continue down the path of poverty, bloodshed and terror, or will the Iranian people return to the nation’s proud roots as a center of civilization, culture and wealth, where their people can be happy and prosperous once again. The Iranian regime’s support for terror is in stark contrast to the recent commitments of many of its neighbors to fight terrorism and halt its finance, and Saudi Arabia early last year, I was greatly honored to address the leaders of more than 50 Arab and Muslim nations. We agreed that all responsible nations must work together to confront terrorists and the Islamic extremism that inspires them. And I can assure you, nobody has ever been in a room filled with more sincerity and singular purpose in all of recorded history.
The United States and our allies are working together throughout the Middle East to crush the loser terrorists and stop the re-emergence of safe havens they use to launch attacks on all of our people (It should be noted that once when the Dear Leader called someone a Loser, they spontaneously combusted).
Last month I announced a new strategy for victory in the fight against this evil in Afghanistan. From now on, our security interests will dictate the length and scope of military operation, not arbitrary benchmarks and timetables set up by politicians. I have also totally changed the rules of engagement in our fight against the Taliban. And other terrorist groups. So, again, we don’t have any desire to impose our will on any other nation unless that nation is named North Korea, China, or Iran.
In Syria and Iraq, we have made big gains toward lasting defeat of ISIS. In fact, our country has achieved more against ISIS in the last eight months than it has in many, many years combined. Usually, I say in the last eight years combined because, as you might know, our last President served two terms, but today I am being subtle and Presidential.
The actions of the criminal regime of Bashar Al Assad, including the use of chemical weapons against his own citizens, even innocent children, shock the conscience of every decent person. No society could be safe if banned chemical weapons are allowed to spread. That is why the United States carried out a missile strike on the air base that launched the attack. So, again, just to be 100% clear, the United States will not impose our principles on anyone except Rocket Man, Taiwan’s President Xi, Iran, Iraq, anyone who we feel helps ISIS, and Syria.
We appreciate the efforts of the united nations’ agencies that are providing vital humanitarian assistance in areas liberated from ISIS, and we especially thank Jordan, Turkey, and Lebanon for their role in hosting refugees from the Syrian conflict. The United States is a compassionate nation and has spent billions and billions of dollars in helping to support this effort. We seek an approach to refugee resettlement that is designed to help these horribly treated people and which enables their eventual return to their home countries to be part of the rebuilding process. For the cost of resettling one refugee in the United States, we can assist more than ten in their home region. If they choose to come to the United States, no matter why they arrive here, we will arrest them and place them in Private Prison facilities in Texas because we are a compassionate nation but not following the laws is never compassionate (Here we believe the Dear Leader is referring to the beautiful and touching speech given by his Attorney General about those so-called Dreamers).
We have invested in better health and opportunity all over the world through programs like PEPFAR, which funds AIDS relief, the president’s malaria initiative, the global health security agenda, the global fund to end modern slavery, and the women entrepreneur’s finance initiative, part of our commitment to empowering women all across the globe. None of these programs were instituted by my Administration and most of them are administered under the auspices of the State Department, which, as you know, will soon be kaput. So Suck it!
We also thank — [ applause ] We also thank the secretary general for recognizing that the united nations must reform if it is to be an effective partner in confronting threats to sovereignty, security, and prosperity. Too often the focus of this organization has not been on results, but on bureaucracy and process. In some cases, states that seek to subvert this institution’s noble end, have hijacked the very systems that are supposed to advance them. For example, it is a massive source of embarrassment to the united nations that some governments with egregious human rights records sit on the U.N. Human rights council. Let’s face it any country that allowed slavery for hundreds of years, exterminated first-people, endorsed doctrines like separate but equal, put citizen’s in camps during WW2, perpetrated Abu Ghraib, killed hundreds of thousands of civilians in the Middle East, has a larger prison population than the rest of the world combined, and maintains a Death Penalty should absolutely NOT be allowed on the U.N. Human Rights Council (The Dear Leader Was, we believe, Attempting Irony Here).
In the meantime we believe that no nation should have to bear a disproportionate share of the burden, militarily or financially. Nations of the world must take a greater role in promoting secure and prosperous societies in their own region. That is why in the western hemisphere the United States has stood against the corrupt destabilizing regime in Cuba and embraced the enduring dream of the Cuban people to live in freedom. My administration recently announced that we will not lift sanctions on the Cuban government until it makes fundamental reforms. We have also imposed tough calibrated sanctions on the socialist Maduro regime in Venezuela which has brought a once thriving nation to the brink of total collapse. The socialist dictatorship of Nicolas Maduro has inflicted terrible pain and suffering on the good people of that country. This corrupt regime destroyed a prosperous nation — prosperous nation, by imposing a failed ideology that has produced poverty and misery everywhere it has been tried. To make matters worse, Maduro has defied his own people, stealing power from their elected representatives, to preserve his disastrous rule. The Venezuelan people are starving and their country is collapsing. Their democratic institutions are being destroyed. The situation is completely unacceptable, and we cannot stand by and watch.
So, to recap, we don’t want to impose our will on any other nations except: North Korea, Iran, China, Iran, Syria, anyone who supports ISIS, Iraq, Afghanistan, Cuba, and Venezuela. Oh, or any deadbeat nations who don’t pay their fair share of UN dues.
We are fortunate to have incredibly strong and healthy trade relationships with many of the Latin American countries gathered here today. Our economic bond forms a critical foundation for advancing peace and prosperity for all of our people and all of our neighbors. I ask every country represented here today to be prepared to do more to address this very real crisis. We call for the full restoration of democracy and political freedoms in Venezuela. [ Applause ] The problem in Venezuela is not that socialism has been poorly implemented, but that socialism has been faithfully implemented. [ Applause ] So, to our European and Nordic friends and allies, you can suck it too.
From the soviet union to Cuba to Venezuela, wherever true socialism or communism has been adopted, it has delivered anguish and devastation and failure. Those who preach the tenants of these discredited ideologies, only contribute to the continued suffering of the people who live under these cruel systems. America stands with every person living under a brutal regime (We believe the transcription was in error here, the Dear Leader meant America stands lovingly ON every person living under a brutal regime)(we might also mention that no irony was intended here).
In remembering the great victory that led to this body’s founding, we must never forget that those heroes who fought against evil, also fought for the nations that they love. Patriotism led the polls to die to save Poland, the French to fight for a free France, and the Brits to stand strong for Britain. Today, if we do not invest ourselves, our hearts, our minds, and our nations, if we will not build strong families, safe communities and healthy societies for ourselves, no one can do it for us (It must be noted that, at this point, hundreds of millions of American’s held up pictures of the Dear Leader and chanted the word ‘Patriotism’ quietly for the remainder of the speech).
This is the ancient wish of every people and the deepest yearning that lives inside every sacred soul. So let this be our mission and let this be our message to the world. We will fight together, sacrifice together, and stand together for peace, for freedom, for justice, for family, for humanity, and for the all mighty god who made us all. Thank you, god bless you, god bless the nations of the world and god bless the United States of America. Thank you very much.
We are so lucky to have gotten to share in the “deep philosophical” reflections of our Dear Leader. Thank you for your rapt attention (we are watching you using the new military technology shared with police agencies all over the United States of America and using the wonderful new tools the Apple Corporation has inserted into every phone).
Josh is a blogger and freelance writer who writes about television, movies, music, politics, ethics, and whatever else is of interest coming across his feed.