Nilofer,

I agree with 99% of what you say here, but not everything. My disagreement comes when anyone suggests that suppressing, censoring, or pushing bad speech underground is a simple solution to hate speech.

As an open formerly incarcerated person, I am no stranger to hate speech, having had my mug-shot Tweeted out and received social media threats etc. For me, and for millions of people in much worse position than me (sexism on the internet, racism on the internet, internet Transphobia etc.) your answer might make things appear placid, but at what cost?

Part of what we are experiencing in this particular cultural moment is coming to grips with the fact that real live racists, lots and lots of real live racists, were getting along just fine in silos beyond where we could see and identify them.

I would rather be able to see them coming and have the opportunity to respond to their arguments with better arguments (marketplace of ideas theory suggests the best answer to a bad argument is a better argument).

Here is the problem, what we are both really saying is that online bullying and hatred wouldn’t work at all if the vast majority of folks on social media responded to the bully with support for the victim of the hate speech and answers to the weak and often offensive arguments made by the speaker. At the core of this is the truth of South Park’s critique of Charlottesville “White People Renovating Houses” — Most people sit quietly and watch, washing their hands of direct complicity all while doing NOTHING to support fellow human beings who are being savaged.

This is why POTUS can say “I am not a racist” and continue to endorse policy after policy embracing, accelerating, and even celebrating structural racist disparities.

We think our responsibility ends with the words we personally utter (or which we choose not to utter) but the truth is much more complicated.

Really, deep down, we have become a narcissistic and cruel society who secretly loves watching the Real Housewives do terrible things to each other for our entertainment.

Changing speech codes won’t change that.