I am predicting that Medium starts to pay writers for inserting “nested list code” in their stories about Chinese acrobats showing off wetsuit chic.

I am predicting Bob Dylan plays a one-time live concert version of “Blowin in the Wind” where he replaces “friend” with either “Gutbloom” or “Master Kung” alternatively.

I am predicting I continue to write sloppy and mostly joyless Medium articles chasing infamy as if my avatar were on fire.