Cersei Lannister's Plan

And no, it does not involve joining the fight at Winterfell


Warning, I will be discussing theories based on events that have already occurred on the show *spoiler alert*

As much as I hate to say it, of late, there is really only one person playing chess in Westeros (and a BUNCH of people playing checkers) and that person really likes to ‘mean mug’ and drink wine.

So, what might Cersei be up to?

Part One: The Baby

One thing that is pretty shocking is that despite years of experience and legendary lore about Cersei, so many characters take her at face value.

It seems very clear that Euron’s calculation is:

  1. He is entirely irresistible to women (so Cersei just will not be able to resist him)
  2. Cersei is just a means to an end, she will play along and let him become King of all Westeros while she learns her place (or whatever “bro” logic he seems to have convinced himself of)
  3. Putting his baby inside her will cement his claim and make him King.

How vapid and one-dimensional Benioff and Weiss are playing this and Euron’s entire character. NOBODY would ever believe Cersei was being entirely honest in ANYTHING. Euron would NEVER believe he could trust Cersei as far as he could throw her (or, at the very least, would never assume he could manipulate her with such ease).

It is still astounding to me that Benioff and Weiss are trying to sell that Tyrion believes Cersei, because they had a sit-down, she is pregnant, and therefore will be coming to the aid of all of Westeros.

Mmmm hmmm…..right

Everyone knows how much I loathe this element of the Benioff and Weiss storytelling style, in the books Euron was not a vainglorious moron and nobody would ever take Cersei at her word (or be egotistical enough to believe that swagger would leave her disarmed to the point of abdication).

Anyway, what Cersei is doing here is legitimizing her baby with Jaime so that her child CAN be the legitimate ruler of Westeros down the road (if the world sees/suspects she is sleeping with Euron — wearer of the Driftwood Crown — and she has a baby, therefore the baby would be the legitimate offspring of Cersei and Euron and not seen as the product of incest).

So, I would also bet dollars to donuts that this means at the very moment that Euron serves the purpose of legitimating Cersei’s baby he will be getting the Qyburn treatment (in the quickest, most brutal, and most convenient of possible ways).

Normally, I would think it was a war of wills and that he was taking a calculated — and very possibly deadly risk — of playing along with Cersei in hopes he ends up with the crown…but nothing in how the Euron is being played suggests he has the slightest inkling to believe he could be manipulated or played false by her.

Kind of sad, he seemed like a truly dangerous and interesting character in the books (although we, to date, have never gotten to see what he was fully capable of).

2. The Bathwater

So, Cersei has amassed troops and a large navy. What could she possibly be doing?

Well, one thing is for certain, she certainly isn’t heading for Winterfell (landlocked) or to fight white walkers at the ruins of the Wall.

She is planning on the forces in the North to be devastated even if they win, she is hoping that many of her rivals are killed, and she is preparing for life with walkers.

  • If the walkers lose her plan is to roundly defeat any human survivors using her existing troops and the Golden Company (This would also have the beneficial effect of ridding Westeros of ALL remaining claims to the throne beyond hers).
  • If the walkers win, but only a few remain, she will plan to wipe up the remnants (although since all of the human forces would join the army of the dead this is a pretty unlikely outcome). In this scenario, Cersei would show up just in the nick of time and play herself off as the savior of humanity.
  • If the walkers win and continue towards Kings Landing, she will get on the boats of her navy and head for the Iron Islands with only necessary personnel and troops (Walkers seem to be great at ice but can’t swim — although, in the television version they seemed to be able to walk around underwater just fine and there is technically no reason they couldn’t have boats).

Now, you might respond, “well Josh, even if she marries Euron and Euron dies, she wouldn’t be Queen of the Iron Islands because they don’t declare Kings and Queens that way.

This is 100% correct, she would have to be declared Queen at a Kingsmoot, and the rules don’t favor her.

But what would favor her is a large army, a claim to the throne (technicalities aside she would be a captain and have been married to Euron), and a HUGE navy including most of the Iron Fleet, In other words, she is betting on might making right.

She plans to enforce her rule of the islands at the point of a spear if necessary.

Sure there are lots of little details she would have to work out still, but I guarantee she has ZERO intention of saving any of the forces tied to Jon Snow and Daenerys, that is just some kind of wishful delusion from Tyrion.

Now, another option is that she has figured out that if you kill the Night King you kill all of the walkers and that she has a plan to be the savior of humanity (and Queen) that way…This seems almost impossible to me, I just don’t think this is the plan but it is theoretically possible.

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Author, Criminal Justice Reform Advocate, Co-Host of the "Decarceration Nation" Podcast, Television critic and Movie Reviewer, OnPirateSatellite.com