As the author of a book about sex addiction and has over 7.5 years of successfully recovered, let me congratulate you on this piece. Magical Consent is an amazing way to put what it is a real problem.

We are at a strange cultural moment in this country in terms of sex, consent, and objectification but we still always default to the same response:

“If we just punish those exceptionally terrible people over there…our problems will all be solved”

Unfortunately:

1. For every person that is caught there are at least a thousand who are not
2. The problem is born in our socialization (usually of men) to see women first as objects or as constructions of a particular femininity and only after (if ever) see them as people.
3. In addition, we are socialized to think feeling is weakness, that asking for help is weakness, that real strength is in “taking,” and that victory makes bad things into good things.

I suspect we will continue to suffer until we start to change the way we raise people around a different (better) set of values.